This past Sunday, February 10th, marked my 4th appearance on Good Day Sacramento. I woke up that morning confident, excited, and ready to rock it on the show! What was even more exciting was having my friends from The Find on Good Day too. Kind of a perfect morning right?! After the show I thanked the Universe for another successful show and for allowing me to shine, not trip, and giving my models the confidence to work it!
The girls from The Find and I decided to do a celebratory brunch after the show. We were enjoying life and our fantastic meals when all of a sudden I looked over and my ex boyfriend stood there with his new fiancée. I instantly felt sick to my stomach; like a turtle that wanted to crawl back into its shell. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but there was a time in the past where I lived quite a different picture than I do now. The relationship I had with the boy who I ran into at brunch was toxic for me. It brought out a person in me that is hard to fathom now. I lost my identity, my drive, ambition, and happiness. Seems dramatic, but it’s how I felt then.
I want to state that I’m not trying to bad mouth him, but more so expressing how that encounter brought me back to a yucky place. Why I fell so deeply into depression had a lot to do with the fact that I knew dating him was wrong for me. There were warning signs and I chose to not listen to that inner voice. My ego got the best of me, and in the end I suffered immensely.
After leaving the restaurant, I had to take a deep breath and remind myself how hard I’ve worked the last few years and how PROUD I am of myself. Sometimes in life we have to hit rock bottom in order to rise up and realize our true value and potential. At least that was the case for me. Once I accepted the things I can’t change, things really started to turn around for me.
As I biked home I thought to myself, ‘I am exactly where I am supposed to be’ and if I keep working my butt off the Universe will do the rest for me. I knew the best medicine when I got home was to take a few pictures for the blog and write. So I knocked on my kind Momma’s door and asked her to snap a few pics for me. This is where Maria entered my life…
When I say the Universe works in mysterious ways, I really mean it! Mom and I walked a couple blocks down to a favorite blue wall of mine. I wore a vintage dress that was recently given to me. The gentleman who gave it to me knew I loved vintage fashion and asked if I wanted his moms clothes from the 60′s – ummm yeah! (The gold dress I wore was purchased in 1960 – such an honor to have it) As mom and I were snapping away I looked over in the ally and saw the most beautiful woman walking by. She was wearing the most fabulous leopard coat and I literally stopped what I was doing and ran over to her. I thought to myself, ‘who is this beautiful creature?’ Come to find out her name was Maria and she was just leaving dance lessons at the Senior Center. She was honest to god, the most adorable older lady I’d ever seen. She wore a fabulous leopard coat, ruby earrings, pink blush, and get this! a dress that she got at a thrift store!!! Coincidence? I think not. I knew I had to include her in my little photo shoot
After she left and went on her way, I looked around and thanked the Universe for allowing us to have that chance encounter. I swear, I kind of felt like the good spirits had put her there to make me smile and realize that everything is gonna be alright. Maria, thank you for walking into my life Sunday. You reminded me how wonderful life really is. And girl, you reminded me that style and grace has no age! Pretty sure we are kindred spirits…
So to all the woman out there who have traveled to the depths of depression, I’m here to remind you that life gets better. Where I was just two years ago is another story. It was crazy and sad, not gonna sugar coat it. Also, listen to that inner voice we have – it’s almost always right! Remember that we are all placed here on this planet to do something great. I’m happy to say that my self esteem and love for myself has been restored fully Through my trials and tribulations I found out that I’m actually pretty good at something! Can you believe it?! My passion for the thrifted fashions has brought new meaning to my life. Life is grand, just look at Maria! Girl is taking dance lessons, wearing leopard, and indulging me in an impromptu photo shoot. I mean, how awesome is that? Hope I run into you again Maria and if not, thanks for gracing me with your beautiful presence Sunday.