Every now and then I find myself stumped, lost, run by fear. With so much going on in my life, I still find myself having moments of insecurities and ‘not good enough’ moments. The unknown is a little frightening at times, not knowing if I’m going to succeed, plateau, or fail.
I had a nice little conversation with my Momma earlier and was reminded how far I’ve come and how much I’ve succeeded forward towards my dreams. I think what gets me into trouble at times is thinking too much into things. I have learned over the past couple of years that some things are really out of my hands and just as long as I put in the work, the Universe will do the rest. Sounds a little crazy, but it’s what works for me. Some people like to call it God, I choose to call it the Universe, energy, or the ‘Chi.’
Though I had a bout of anxiety earlier, I was reminded that to sit in a pity party run by fear gets little ol’ Phoebe no where. In my previous life, I constantly lived in the past. It was a fog of old memories and wishing I could change what was unchangeable. The way I live my life today is to live in the moment. Ok, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t day dream about the future sometimes. The difference is that I’m realistic about it now and believe for the most part that I can make my dreams a reality.
Sometimes our dreams seem unattainable and scary, but when we let go of fear, we open the opportunity to see our dreams become reality. I robbed myself of true potential in the past and bottled away the essence of who I was. Through a little soul searching, I learned to push fear aside. Now, remember, I am still human and revert back to old behaviors sometimes, like I did today. But, luckily I’ve developed tools over time to take a look at my fear, analyze it, learn, and move forward.
Life isn’t always easy is it? But, with the hurdles we over come, we get stronger and one step closer to our dreams. For anyone out there struggling, feeling inadequate, or like their talents aren’t of value – I am here to tell you they are. We are all placed on this planet for different reasons and each of us has our very own unique gift to share. I’ve always had that inner voice saying, ‘Phoebe, you are an artist,’ I just choose to ignore it at different times in my life. I started drawing when I was little, moved to painting, photography, and finally realized what gets me most excited is the art of fashion. I think of my body as a blank canvas, waiting to be painted every day by my lovely clothes and accessories. I have found through thrifting that I could maintain and afford this ‘art’ of mine. It has been a beautiful journey in recent years realizing that this is my gift and talent. I love everything about styling, from the colors, clothes, to the way an outfit can take someone from sad to giddy. Now, that’s a beautiful thing to me.
Have no fear – your gift will be heard, if you let it…
Just for fun, here’s some recent vignettes of my life: